I always envy those who could get through life without any roadblocks or obstacles. Everyone had jobs, got their life all sorted. Meanwhile, I wasn’t anywhere close. Stuck in the pit of problems, problems that I was born with. Essential tremor or known as ET. Essential tremor is a shaking disability where parts of the body shake uncontrollably. This mainly happens in the hands, voice and mostly in the head. There are ways to prevent shaking and to control it such as Beta-blockers. Essential tremor is unable to be cured, but a few have developed Parkinson’s disease.
While growing up I never paid attention to what was wrong with me or that people treated me differently due to my disability. While attending high school, I had a few friends. Only one of them made fun of my disability and had passed it on to other friends, more people were making fun of me. It got so bad especially when I had my first boyfriend. They all said how I couldn’t have sex and I would be shaking the whole time. In the end, I proved them wrong and many of them still chose not to believe me. I had various moments when strangers commented on my disability with “Are you cold?” Or “Are you nervous? You’re shaking”. Ninety percent of the time this happened during summer, oh yeah I’m totally cold when it’s boiling hot today, you guessed it. You’re probably wondering why I never addressed my disability to most of these people. Well, I’ll probably never see them again and second, I get strange looks when they hear about it. It’s not always easy explaining to others what they’re not familiar with. So I just agree and walk away, not wasting my time with those who mention it. During my eighteenth birthday, after visiting Las Vegas and beautiful California desert with horses, I had noticed my essential tremor got worse. I wasn’t able to stand still, distract myself from anxiety or shaking, my head would uncontrollably shake more frequently. At this point, there was something I had to do about it. After a visit to the local doctor, I got prescribed a Beta-blocker, Propanolol. The medication worked like a charm and boosted my confidence. I was no longer the shaking girl in high school, more like cheerful and strong.
After two years passed and to this present day, I have taught myself how to grasp my nerves when I shake, as well as use various tactics to leave my essential tremor at ease. This has educated me that medication isn’t always the answer to problems or going on a higher dosage. Anyone is capable of teaching themselves to get in touch with their body, mind, and spirit, whether it’s essential tremor or anxiety.